Suburban Chimp - Finance & Social Commentary

Suburban Chimp has noticed a growing trend in the UK of running patio heaters when it’s cold. There is a plethora of bars, clubs, affluent suburbanites, and now the general riff-raff, (now the Chinese are in full patio-heater production) of running these heaters all winter long. Now the smoking ban has suffered its first winter all the smokers and friends of smokers who do not want to be left alone have to huddle outside opening ourselves up for all that Mother Nature has to offer. Hark a solution to our woes, patio heaters are here to keep us all warm and give us sun tans (almost) on even the coldest, chilliest winter’s day.
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So are patio heaters really the route of all evil? As usual, Suburban Chimp haven’t bothered with any actual research, but have made assumptions that since these devices could probably heat a small factory by themselves, that they are probably using a heck of a load of fuel and are therefore probably bad for the environment, at least compared to a hemp jumper, woven by a hippy who lives in a commune. So as an environmental blog we cannot really condone their use…
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To be honest, Suburban Chimp saw this one coming and pretty much blames the smoking ban because now that you can’t smoke inside pubs, you have to smoke outside of them, and therefore all the poor smokers would simply bugger off home if they had to suffer the cold the entire winter. Therefore kindly landlords, looking to boost their coffers, or to put it another way, make a ‘honest day’s living guv’ provide heaters for their patrons. Lets face it, for even the hardened environmentalist It’s hardly convenient to go out in the evening attired in full Arctic set up because as soon as you go inside a building you’ll melt, and who wants to deal with cloakroom queue’s and light fingered cloakroom assistants pilfering your belongings looking for your iPod Nano Video et al. (OK, we know not all you cloakroom assistants are bad and are honest as the day is long, we’re just saying, you know…)
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Oh yeah, (Suburban Chimp digresses a bit) and worst still, we have noticed that when we pop along to the local boozer for a few pints of organic ale that the pub smells, of well… organic ale and (as the Scottish say) pish. Not very nice. We think the solution is pretty clear, hug cancer and passive smoking etc and revoke the smoking bad to save us all from unpleasant odours AND PATIO HEATER ENVIROMENTAL HELL!